Your Bingo Jokes

We'll publish a selection of your bingo-themed jokes right here on the bingo jokes page. If we publish one of your jokes, we’ll credit your account with FB$50. To submit your bingo funnies click here.

Thank you to all our members who have sent in jokes. At times we have been laughing so much that we haven’t been able to play bingo (roflmao). But please remember we are a family site so can’t publish some of the ones you’ve sent in ;-) And we are looking for Bingo-themed jokes!

Here are just a selection of the bingo funnies we have received...

Who's There?
Bee Eye
Bee Eye who?
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and BINGO is my name-o!

Supplied by: Baller22

Q: What is black and white and screams "YES! YES! YES!"
A: A nun winning at bingo.

This guy had a very attractive wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewellery, etc., but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond necklace. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?" His wife replied, "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a mink coat. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?" His wife replied, "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a Mercedes Benz. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?" His wife replied, "Look!! Don't keep asking where I get my things!! Go upstairs and run my bath for me!!"

His wife came upstairs to find a small amount of water in the bath. The wife asked, "How come you put so little water in the bath?"

He replied, "I didn't want to wet your bingo card!"

Sharon and Tracey were playing Bingo.

Sharon kept looking over Tracey 's shoulder saying, “You've got that number mark it off…..you've got that number mark it off.”

After putting up with this for some time Tracey got annoyed and said, "why don't you do your own card?"

Sharon replied - "I can't it's full!"

Mary was on the telephone to her friend Joan, complaining about her lazy, good-for-nothing husband. After 20 minutes of this Joan said, ”My husband said I had to choose between him and bingo……. I'm gonna miss him …..!!”

My first is in able but not in willing
My second is in win but not in lose
My third is in song but not in music
My fourth is in coming and also in going
My fifth is in tomorrow but not yesterday
What am I?

My local Mecca decided on holding Fancy Dress Bingo Night. I went along to see what everyone was dressed up as. There were the usual princesses, witches, schoolgirls etc but then I saw a naked man in the corner carrying a naked woman on his back. Well, I was curious so I went over and said to the naked man (trying not to stare you know where) “What have you come as?” The naked man said, “I’ve come as a tortoise.” “A tortoise?” I said. He said, “Yes my name is David and this is Michelle”.

Q: How do you get a sweet, little old lady to say the F-word?
A: Get another little old lady to shout "BINGO!!!

Q) What do Rats say when they play bingo?
A) Eyes down for a full mouse!!

Gertie, Dorothy, Ethel and George are sitting at a table at the local Gala club when for the first time in 30 years George gets a full house. In the excitement of jumping up and down screaming ‘BINGO!!’, George’s trousers accidentally fall down, exposing him fully to the startled ladies! Dorothy and Ethel had a stroke, but Gertie couldn’t reach!

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A Bingo machine

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF BINGO
Thou shalt not sit in thy neighbors lucky seat.
Thou shalt not stare at thy neighbours card.
Thou shalt not take the Callers name in vain.
Thou shalt not call false "Bingo".
Thou shalt not wish bad luck on thy neighbour.
Thou shalt not threaten to kill the "Caller".
Thou shalt not steal thy husband's money for Bingo (oh, alright you can do this one).
Thou shalt not brag about how much thou hast won.
Thou shalt not whine about how much thou hast lost.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s winnings.

We'll publish a selection of your jokes right here on the jokes page. If we publish one of your jokes, we’ll credit your account with FB$50. To submit your bingo funnies click here.